what is wrong with me..?
why am i doing this.
i will not make , the same mistake
will not make myself cause my heart so much misery
i learned from my mistakes , and i'm standing up.
knowing obviously that another blow will really kill me ,
and u did it.
i'm not blaming you and trust me this blog post so wont be about you.
i'm forced to fake a smile , a laugh everyday in my life.
but thats okay , i'm used to it.
i'm not jealous of anything , i love my life.
look darling , because of you i'm seriously not gonna trust anybody again.
never gonna trust , promise.
i believe in lies now.
crap , why am i emo-ing.
it doesnt matter if i dont mean a single shit to you , as long as i'm with you i'm contented--
oh noo ): i just found out that i'm getting more and more poetic and stuff , like wth. i so miss my old blogging ways , but life is not as interesting as the past.
there's almost really nothing to post.
and i seriously want to keep my blogpost long.
ahhh what a dayy (:
--
what should i do about you.
love me , hate me i dont care anymore.
uhm , alot of things happened to me like ohmigod.
and i so totally thank
both adela and chialing for being there for me and stuff.
chatting with josh sim really helps (:
i so enjoy chatting with him -smiles-
to josh lim : oi u still owe me one piano piece k LOL.
to josh sim : oi , you also kay.
to adela : ohmigee , thanks girl for being there for me.
to chialing : ohmigee , thankyouverymuch to you too.
to some other supporters thankyou too.
to shawne : thanks for helping me reply to caspar's smses
to cathrine : thanks for telling me what to do and what to say. helps alot <3
to isaac : jyjy toss people around! talking to you helps as well (:
haha. i so wouldnt make it through without you guys (=
dont ever leave me kays? no promises , dont promise me anything.
--
accompanied yijun to wait her bus ! yay aweshumm !
-smile-
i so love accompany her , and so totally love her company.
she's like so nice & kind towards me.
even if she's not there for me when i need her
it doesnt really matter , as long as i'm able to be there for her.
-smiles-
ohh and linkie was really nice as well.
his like , a ultra music fan. hahahah
crap , i'm getting more and more involve with hci guys.
i wonder if thats a good or bad thing (=
i dont ever wanna fall in love again
its a terrible thing.
though i think i already am , i'm trying my best to kick that feeling off (:
ohmigod , im gonan repeat this over and over again.
JOSH SIM IS A REALLY NICE GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUY.
TOTALLY AWESOME GUY.
-SMILES-
-CANT STOP SMILING-
i wonder if this post is long enough.
you know..
everytime i think of all those memories , it truly and honestly hurt.
i wonder , how could they like so easily forget everything.
why are we humans , so weak.
oh god , why.
but its okay.
wo bu jie yi.
wo ku gou le , wo bu yao zai ku le.
tai tong ku lehs (:
with that ,
i'm off.
hahahahahhahahahaha
<3 yijun , <333 josh sim , <33 isaac , <33 adela & chialing , <3 shawne and cathrine.
<333 ws family (:
all of you , mean the entire world to me.
♥our lips must always be sealed
7:40 PM
There is alot of major events going on , and to tell the truth i'm stressed up.
everybody's lying
everybody's hypocrite.
i hate this world.
Can I die?
I want to disappear. Am i allowed to do so?
Midyear is hard , and I bet i'm gonna fail em' all. doesnt matter much to me anymore. I give up.
to somebody :
I thanked you for sms-ing me last night. but to be honest , i dont really need your sympathy. its okay if you love her , i understand.
your smile? your eyes? i'm over it.
I'm way over the limit of emo-ing. so i'm happy now.
I dont wish to see your face again to be honest , thats what I think. but maybe , somewhere deep inside me i want to see it again but still , what should i do?
i'm always the one confused , unsure of what i should do next.
its disgustingly painful , whenever i think of you.
the scar , just ripped open all by itself. it hurts to see you , see you walking towards me , see u smiling. hear your voice.
I know , you're a major flirt and that everyone's telling me that you're an asshole.
but you're not right? you are just acting. i know you are.
i know you , i truly and honestly know you.
i thanked you , alot for telling me things , thinigs about yourself.
i want to know more , more alot more. well , i guess i'm treating u like uhm.. a subject just that there's no exam.
i cried , yeah i cried alot of times over you. thats why i said , i'm way over the limits of emo-ness. well actually , it was caspar who made it happened.
go on , go on and break my heart i'll be okay (: hahahhahahaha.
--
went to the bubbletea shop with aggie ! hahahahah
i so love her. bought blueberry while aggie bough uhm oreo.
aggie's senior tagged along but instead , he went flirting with some girls. like so what right ! hahahahhaha so since his aggie's senior and seriously , I KNOW HIM LOL. I BULLY HIM ! HAHAHAHHAHA i sort of like senior ! thn i kicked him.
thn his like
OUCH. thn he went around screaming " CRAZY, THIS GIRL IS MAD. " LOLS.
hahahaha , damn hilarious.
i miss my whitesands family ): i really miss them.
everybody's drifting apart , even yijun seems to like , dont care bout me anymore.
everybody change , and maybe i'm the only one left remained unchanged. no i changed. in a more gangster-ly way. but still , its okay. i dont mind.
cried in sch today , i wonder why i'm so sad.
sometimes , i wish i could just like die or something but , now i know that life is full of joy =)
thats what i think , and am currently forcing the thought into my mind. i'm forcing all positive thoughts into my mind and negative thoughts out of my mind. mind you , i said force.
apparantly , and duh i'm running away. from all the troubles in life but as for now , i think its the best solution.
exams are just around the corner , i can't let anything distract me.
yeah i know , said i gave up. said i dont care.
but did u really think i mean it? maybe i do.
.." life is amazed and love is a riddle "
--
i miss my class.
and it hurts to see that my class's blog is dying
as in my primary 6 class.
that just shows how un-united we are. even though we play together , eat together during recess , after sch , after psle but still.. our blog. thats like , what's left of us. it means alot of thing to me. and duh i know i do not have the right to say this , since i dont tag either. HAHAHHAHA.
i understand la , we're all busy.
but , can we really just let everything go?
all those happy memories?
us playing uno , stress , gathering around , crying , playing , laughing , eating , studying for psle. can we? watching movie , complaining on how boring the movie is . can we?
being all racial harmony with each other , extreme bestfriends with each other. quarreling , getting all jealous with each other due to friendship problems. can we?
i miss em' all seriously. year 2009 , is a extremely good year. i missed everything.
dont you miss them?
i miss going toilet with yijun ( tho i always complain. )
i miss her. i miss her. i miss her. i miss her.
i miss see-ing lifen emoing.
totally. totally. totally.
i miss weiwen and joan.
i miss them telling me how awesome jolene is.
i miss quarelling with jolene.
i miss the boys. i miss them. some even scolding some hokkien.
in the end , all of us became one big family.
never thought we would be a family , never thought i would be included.
i miss isabelle and xuewen. miss chatting with faiqka.
miss syafiqah telling me about her favourite movies , and television shows. miss everybody's innocent smile.
miss mrs lok teaching us , miss li nagging. miss fooling around during social studies lesson. miss music , guitar. miss chatting bout boys.
miss em' all. i even miss our so called territories.
isnt primary sch life great? i miss our uniform.
you guys , were the best of the best i ever had / seen.
i miss all of you.
and that goes to my mother tongue class as well. miss yunzhen , chenxun and shirley ! hahahhahahaha.
miss pissing yunzhen off by asking her simple chinese words.
miss her taking care of me , and me taking care of her.
i'm like a baby , everbody's taking care of me. i miss em' all.
sad to say , i can't survive in my secondary sch.
maybe i cant. but still , i thank all of you for giving me such wonderful memories.
they were awesome. if life is a movie , my primary sch life will be the best movie ever made. well , at least for me. and i strongly believe that , whitesandians are united as one. especially my class <3
hahahahahahhaah.
missed hanging around with yj they all after sch @ wo men de lao di fang (: and going to 7-11.
missed walking out of B gate with them.
I MISS ALL OF YOU ! SO MUCH THAT I COULD CRY ! I WANT TO REPLAY MY LIFE. AND ZOOM RIGHT TO MY PRIMARY 6 LIFE. PSLE IS FUN , WITH YOU GUYS AROUND. I LOVE ALL OF YOU ! with that , i'm off. HAHAHHAHAHA
♥our lips must always be sealed
4:28 AM
Good Results
Monday, May 10, 2010